big birthday bean burrito

deee-licious! too bad it gave me the head-bobs in the next two conference sessions. or maybe it was the two pints of beer i had with Josh.

pull over, man...

I gotta JAM! a tricked-out yaris with a big screen in the back and festival-goers showing their guitar hero skillz.

the podcast pickle

need I say any more?

sxsw swag!!

sine we got platinum passes, they gave us free crap for all three conferences. the big keepers are the cds and sweet canvas totes, which will be added to our non-plastic grocery bag arsenal.

zipa-dee-poo-dah

angie don't like no blue birds, glowing or not, to be hangin out in front of her shoulder.

only in texas...

meat as a garnish. apparently this is some sort of sausage bread pudding that arrives whether you order a vegetaian meal or not.

theo & moo-cow

just chillin' at the 'doba.

Happy T'aint To You!

So, is this considered to be the Holiday "T'aint"? Smack-dab between Chrsitmas and New Year's. Too late to waste your days shopping and too soon to start drinking heavily. What are we supposed to do with this time. I don't wanna work, but I am tired of hanging out at home.

That's all I got for now.

-G

I Am Not Writing About Superman Returns

Yes. I saw the movie. Yes. I enjoyed the movie. Quite a bit in fact. I just didn't like it nearly as much as Batman Begins, but then, how could I?

I will, however, send you to read a blog by someone who did write about the new film. You ARE NOT ALLOWED to go read it if you haven't seen the movie though. Have you seen it? You have? No fooling? OK , here you go.

I'm Feeling Kinda Gassy

Six years ago we bought a basic, black, "bean can" of a pickup truck. We bought it because we were moving into an new house and we knew we would be doing the move ourselves, as well as any big interior and landscaping projects. The plan was to get the truck, do all the big work, and then trade it in for something nicer in about 2 years. Yeah, that plan certainly worked out well.

Since this was to be a vehicle of necessity, we got NOTHING extra. No 4-wheel drive, or cassette/cd player, or A/C, or electric locks, or bed liner,... nothing. As long as it ran well, I really didn't care how the truck looked either. My philosphy has always been, "It's a truck, and I will use it like a truck." The windshield has an elegant network of cracks thanks to driving behind gravel trucks up and down "the canyon" to Black Hawk when I was a blackjack dealer a few years back. The bed of the black truck actually looks gray from all the scratches caused by hauling countless loads of dirt, patio pavers, folding poker tables and chairs, etc.

There are two emblems on the tailgate of the truck. The Ford logo, and another I always assumed was the logo for the dealership. Recently I learned that this was not the case. The second emblem is Ford's logo for "flex-fuel" vehicles. This means I can put "e85" (85% ethanol) fuel in the tank and it will run fine.

For six years I have been killing the planet by filling up with regular gas, when I could have been saving lives, reversing decades of environmental abuse ,and ending America's "addiction to oil" by using this alternate fuel. I hereby vow, from this day forward, to do my part and use e85 in my piece-of-junk Ford Ranger. Did I mention that I checked and e85 is going for $1.99 a gallon right now? That's $.50 cheaper! Woohoo!

Of course I will be making a sacrifice, considering it isn't all that convenient to get this fuel. You see, there is only one station in Denver that sells e85. Granted, it is located very close to the Blue Bonnet, my favorite greasy, "shlock" Mexican food restaurant. That way I suppose, I can double load up on gas... if you know whut i'm sayin'.

Wow, that was bad. I apologize for the poor quality of this post. I guess I figured I have been away too long and that anything was better than nothing. Hmm. Shows what I know.

G

Where is the Tangent Boy?

So... Schooly gives me shit for not posting. I'm not even going to bring up the fact that he hasn't updated this site in many many months. I'm not going to ask, "where is the Tangent Boy?". I'm not going to do it.

With that apophasis behind us, I can get to the point. I have a joke to tell:

"So did you hear about the dyslexic man who walked into a bra?"

Thank you. Thank you.

Smack It. Flip It. Rub It Down.

Not much to share with you all right now besides this completely USELESS info.

While in Amsterdam, I was watching TV one night and saw some clip of a woman folding a shirt in about 2 seconds. This fold job was as crisp as any you will ever see in the Gap. I told Robin and she didn't believe me until now...

I was just browsing around the site for ReadyMade magazine for a specific article. Imagine my surprise when I stumbled across this article, complete with folding instructions and a video!! I can now wait to pack for a Vegas trip until 5 minutes before heading out the door.

Happy laundering. - G

Update (2/08): The old link no longer works, here is a step-by-step guide on YouTube, thanks to VideoJug.

My Apologies

I am so sorry, dear fans of the Tangent Boy. My attentions have been elsewhere recently. What makes it worse is that I have been concentrating on other blogging efforts. Is that cheating? Should I feel dirty?

One of the reasons I started Tangent Boy was to provide a vehicle for me to get used to writing on a regular basis. That was so it wouldn't be so hard when I finally get going on a bigger project which, I can happily say, has kicked off. Don't expect any great writing, just long-winded descriptions of one of nature's most simple delicacies...

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the pre-release version of the Zealots of Za website.

The other distraction has been the preparation of our trip out of the country for the holidays. Of course, I had to create a blog about that as well. If you are a real glutton for punishment, feel free to track our voyage by going to ragz.com.

That's all for now. I promise I will return at some point with worthless rambling exposés on topics of little importance.

G

Is it Wrong... ?

As many of you know, I am a pretty staunch vegetarian. This is a choice I made over 10 years ago based primarilly for ethical reasons. Knowing this, do you think it is wrong or hypocritical that I could go through and entire 3 lb. bag of animal crackers in one sitting?

Please, Sir. Can I Have Some More Cottage Cheese?

So, for the past eleven days, Robin (my way-better half) and I have been on a diet. My first diet in 36 years of existence, in fact. It's not like I am a fatty-fatty, but I do have a little bit of a tire in the middle that forces me to wear kinda baggy shirts now and then. As you know, I do love the pizza and burritos. But, don't worry, I still have the long, skinny, chicken legs capped off by a lack of cushioning on the backside. It would be ideal if I could just rearrange the extra flesh, but alas...

Anyway, we were turned onto this diet so aptly named the "Idiot-Proof Diet". The appeal is that they pretty much guarantee that you will lose 9 pounds in eleven days. Another plus is that it is not a starvation diet. You are allowd to eat till you are satisfied, but not full. Lastly, they have a vegetarian/vegan version and I seem to be a sucker for anything that is a veggie-friendly version of a non-veggie food. Our freezer is constantly packed with various mock-meats since I feel it necessary to support any company who makes the effort to acknowledge us as a valid market.

The catch of this diet is that you are told exactly what you can eat, and it is fairly lacking in variety. You get four meals a day that can either be categorized as protein or carb meals. Each meal is usually one type of item and that is all you get, although you get as much as you want as long as you don't fill up too much. Some days it is almost all protein meals, somtimes all carbs, and occasionally there is a mix. I think the point is to keep your metabolism guessing, which keeps it running on high.

Day one (Monday) was quite a start. I was stuck in a 5-hour meeting at work when they brought in about 10 pizzas for lunch. PIZZAS!! DAY ONE!! Didn't anyone get the memo? I sat there and grumbled into the first bowl of cottage cheese I have ever eaten. Since then we have gone through THREE LARGE TUBS of cottage cheese a the house. If I never have another spoonful, I'll be good.

By day three (Wednesday) I was grumpy if anyone talked about food around me and I already had lunch plans for the following Friday to go to Anthony's as soon as the diet was done. Then I went to work out on day four and got on the scale. I had lost four pounds in three days. Wahoo! I could do this.

Let me get this straight for other first-time "idiots" trying this diet. Weekends suck! You are allowed only one glass of wine a day. What's the point? One glass makes you want another. The second glass either makes you want a third or makes you want to sleep and it isn't till the third or fourth do things really get good. Not to say that we need to get boozed up to enjoy the weekend, but if we are gonna go out on a Friday or Saturday night we are either going to eat or drink. We spent our Saturday night at the Super Target. I bought four pairs of boxers and two new pillows.

Just when I thought, "you know, this ain't so bad. I can do this for a while longer," the mother of all bad-days-to-be-dieting hit. Halloween. I had bought six bags of bite-size candy bars. Two bags each of Snickers, Reece's cups, and Kit-Kats. I was thinking that we normally don't get a ton of kids to come by, so I was already thinking ahead to day twelve when we could tuck into all the leftovers for breakfast.

I didn't count on the weather. A big reason we don't usually get a lot of trick-or-treaters is that Halloween in Denver is quite often a wet, cold, even snowy event, and most of the kids do their begging in malls or they just stay home. This year it was a gorgeous day and was still fairly mild well into the evening. My optimism sunk around 7pm when I had to dig into the second half of the stash. They didn't stop and they kept coming in huge groups. Normally I would be thinking "what a cute little kitty," or "that sure is a scary vampire". This time I was only grumbling about my dwindling cache. I think we have about five mini-candies left. Good think those Kit-Kats break in half easy, otherwise Robin would definitely be on the short end of that deal.

Now it is day eleven of an eleven day diet. As of early yesterday, I had lost 7.5 pounds. Part of me wants to see if I can gain it all back in the following three days. I think I have a good menu mapped out to do it primarily made up of sugar and cheese sandwiches on white Wonder bread. Ideally, they suggest to do the diet for eleven days, cheat for three, then start another eleven. The claim is that the three-day break actually helps your body break fat down faster in the next set of eleven. Like I said, I am pretty sure I will need more than a three-day break to willingly put another bowl of cottage cheese in front of me.

G

Movin' on Up?

Since I have proved to be so prolific and accomplished at this whole blogging thing, I am coming to the decision that it may be time to force myself up a level or two and jump into the realm of podcasting. Gimme a couple weeks. I gotta get the home equity loan so I can turn our little bathroom or maybe the wife's closet into a sound recording studio.

**Tangent Alert** Please pause here while I check out www.meebo.com at the suggestion of a friend. A site which allows you to log into your IM accounts (AIM, Yahoo, MSN, Jabber) through a browser window and chat with others online without the use of individual apps. Should definitely come in handy while in Europe over the holidays. **End Tangent Alert**

So, as far as the podcasting goes, here are some things to look forward to. It will surely be more focused than Tangent Boy has been. I won't mention the topic here right now, but if you know me personally, you get 3 guesses (you won't need 2 of them). It will involve more people than myself on a regular basis. It won't be nearly as good as any other podcast out there.

Stay tuned. Until then, maybe i'll fill this blog with more journalesque "today I felt melancholy as I wathced the autumn leaves fall to the ground" type stuff... Maybe not.

G

Time Waster, Extraordinaire

Yes, I know it has been a long time since my last post. But, what did you expect? I am a confessed slacker, and a pretty good one at that. Allow me to illustrate...

Do you remember a good while back when I had a run-in with Taco Bell? Well, I got online and filed a complaint explaining that my order had been wrong. As expected, I soon received a letter from the corporate office apologizing for the mistake and offering me a free entree of my choice.

I was very excited to take this powerful document down to the location of the infraction and get my free Nacho's BellGrande (sans meat of course), but first, I wanted to share my victory over "the MAN" with the world. I eventually took a picture of myself with the letter and planned on posting an entry here before cashing it in. Well, the slacker in me took over and I procrastinated. I took so long, in fact, the the letter expired. No Nachos for me. To make up for it, I made sure to use a Q-Doba 2-for-1 coupon on THE DAY it expired. I feel better.

G

The Library of a Dork

Like most people, there is a nightstand next to my bed. On this nightstand, like most people, I regularly keep the book I am currently reading. Right now, however, there is not one, but 5 books which are all either waiting to be finished or started (not to mention the steady stream of plastic-bagged comic books).

First, there is "Life of Pi" by Yann Martel. I wish I could say I am reading this because it is my favorite book, that I have read it 2 times already, and that I have found it to be life-changing. Sadly, I can only say that I will be reading it because my wife is forcing me to. She is claiming, however, that it will change my life and become my favorite. We'll see. I tried to pick it up a few weeks ago late at night and was unconscious before I was done with the second page.

Next comes "Play Poker Like the Pros" by Phil Helmuth. I can't stand the guy, or at least the bratty persona he displays in televised poker tournaments. The book is fairly well-written and is occassionally informative, however, it just sits there till I suffer a bad beat in our little weekly no-limit hold-em tournament. Then I will come home early and reread the section on no-limit hold-em for the twelfth time hoping to glean some new nugget of wisdom that will make me impervious to the dreaded "suck-out" (I swear this is a harmless poker term).

There is at least one Fodor's European travel book. We are heading to London, Paris, and Amsterdam for the holidays this year. It will be my first trip overseas, so I am studying up early. I seriously wish I could make a living out of planning my own vacations.

Not to be forgotten is "Pizza: A Slice of Heaven : The Ultimate Pizza Guide and Companion." This is filled with great stories by famous writers and celebrities about their favorite pizza, as well as regional listings for great pie.

Lastly, there is a book I won't go into much detail about here. I snagged it from "the Mrs." after she read it for her book club. Let's just say that it is more suited for the husbands and significant others of the book club girls, although the ladies themselves are sure to benefit from the contents of the book. Of course, it is nothing that I need. It's just nice to have around in case, well, just in case.

You would think that with all of these selections I would be reading every night and the stack would be dwindling. Unfortunately this is not the case and the stack is just gathering dust. This is due to my need to bump them all to the bottom of the list for at least a month or two while I re-aquaint myself with a collection of obscure books about a young wizard boy. I hesitate to give the specific name for fear that everyone will discover it and jump on the bandwagon.

Don't worry. It's not like I was in line at a bookstore last Friday night with a lightning bolt painted on my forehead. Nor did I grab a the book while shopping at Safeway the next day. In fact, I still don't have my copy of the new book and it is a full FOUR DAYS later. No need to stress though, the Amazon order is in.

While I wait for the delivery, I decided to back up and read the previous two books, as I am sure there is stuff I missed the last two times I read them. If I go slow enough I won't have to reread them all again to prepare for the new movie coming out in November...

By Popular Demand... or Bat-Blog!!

By Popular Demand...

I am only doing this because it has been requested by many that I post my feelings on the new Batman movie. I resisted, knowing that it would only further reveal how much of a dork I am, but I think that people are probably suggesting this so I will stop talking to them about it. That may be true, but I doubt it.

It was in the fall of 1987 that I was truly introduced to Batman. Of course I knew the TV show and had read a few comics. I had watched Batman and Robin solve mysteries with the Scooby gang and get along with everyone on the Justice League. I had worn the Underoos and watched my mom and her best friend swap responsibilities of wearing the hard plastic Batman helmet while driving my family's old VW bus on road trips when my Dad was away. I later learned that none of this was Batman.

In the fall of 1987 I was 18 and a freshman in college. My girlfriend from high school, who was attending the same university and living in the dorm building next door to mine, had just broken up with me for the first time. I was pretty bummed out and spending my weekend nights in my dorm listening to the college radio station and boiling hot dogs in a hot pot. On Friday nights there was a radio game show with in-studio contestants. It was primarily a trivia thing, and if the in-studio guest couldn't answer they went to phone lines. Well, on one particular Friday night I called in and answered a question correctly and was told my prize - a collection of "Adult Comic Books". Adult comic books....? You mean, cartoon PORN?!! WOOHOO! OK, I wasn't really THAT excited, but I was intrigued.

I went to the station a few days later to claim my loot and was handed a stack of "graphic novels for mature readers". The two highlights were Alan Moore's Watchmen and Frank Miller's The Dark Knight Returns. I think I read the latter twice in that day alone. I told you already, I had been dumped and was living in a dorm. What else was there?

The Dark Knight was not the Batman I had grown up with. This had meat and darkness to it and I loved it. This Batman wasn't breaking up theatrical bank robberies in broad daylight or doing the "Batusi", he was keeping to the shadows and brutally beating on psychopathic killers. Later, Frank MIller went back and explored the beginning of Batman's career with Batman: Year One, which became clear reference material for this summer's movie.

Not long after The Dark Knight Returns came the two Tim Burton movies which, although they were dark, didn't get it quite right. For one, we don't really see how or why he became Batman. For another, the Joker died at the end. How can you have an arch-enemy that is dead after the first encounter? Penguin? Same thing. Catwoman? Let's not go there. Next came Joel Shumacher's movies which were trying too hard to be the cartoony TV series from the 60's with the exception of the fact that he killed off 3 more classic villains and made a mockery of one of the better bad guys from "recent" Bat-history, Bane.

Eight years later they restart the Bat-franchise with a whole new approach. With Batman Begins, Christopher Nolan has made a dark hero grounded in reality. Realistic people in a realistic corrupt city using realistic technology. I loved it. It was the movie I had been waiting for. I could go on about all the major parts that made it an almost perfect package, but you can get that in the hundreds of real reviews in magazines, papers, and online. Apparently BB is the "best reviewed" movie of the year so far, which means that of all the published reviews for the film, it has the highest percentage of positive reviews. They say "not only is it a great comic book movie, it's a great movie."

I suppose I can agree with that, but I am quite a bit biased. I love it because it is SO true to the comic book, especially in the little details. I also love how even some of the major Bruce Wayne/Batman "knowns" are fleshed out beyond the comics instead of glossed over. In many movie adaptations of books (comic or otherwise) character development can be truncated for time. In several places this film dives deeper than than any of the pages I have read.

Ok, for those who have not seen the movie I will now give you the standard SPOILER WARNING. Do not read further if you don't want to know anything about the movie before seeing it.

I now present "a few my favorite parts of Batman Begins that haven't been mentioned in every other review in the world"....

Mr. Zsaz. In the comic books this guy is a cold-blooded killer that keeps track of his kills by cutting himself for each victim. He cameos in a couple scenes in the movie as a killer for the mob and you can just barely see the self-inflicted scars creeping out of the collar of his shirt.

Bruce Wayne travels the globe to learn how to combat crime. We know this in the books, but we don't really know how or why he made this decision. In the movie, mob boss Carmine Falcone inadvertently plants the idea in Bruce's head that he needs to go far away from Gotham to prepare and that when he begins his war on crime, he can't do it as Bruce Wayne.

Batman refuses to use guns and will not kill. Now, this is a pretty mature decision for a 10-year-old to make and we never learn in the comics as to how he came to this commitment. In the movie, we learn that initially Bruce is bent on revenge by killing Joe Chill upon being paroled. When he is denied this act and later reveals his plan to Rachel, she lets him have it and reminds him how disappointed his father would be. A lot of people dislike the Rachel Dawes character (played by Katie Holmes) and thought she was useless as a "love interest". Now, I am no big fan of Katie Holmes, and I agree there was no need for a love interest, but I think she played a valuable role in the development of Bruce Wayne's character. But that's just me, and I am only a geek fan-boy.

There. I did it. I blogged about Batman. Is that good enough for you? Hopefully I can tuck the comic book geek in me away for a while. At least till I see Batman Begins on the IMAX or Superman Returns is released.

G

P.S. Howie Movshovitz, the film critic for Colorado Public Radio is a moron and should lock himself in his home with nothing but Fellini films. For crying out loud, he disliked this movie (the best reviewed movie of 2005 so far) AND Return of the King (the big Oscar winner for its year). Seriously. Howie. Give it up. I actually only know of your dislike of these movies from the reports of others as I cannot stand the sound of your voice and turn off the radio when you come on.

Let's Not Forget...

First off, welcome to "ShawnIsCool" and "Milpool", brand new contributors to Tangent Boy. Apparently, I cannot keep up with the rigorous schedule of posting random ramblings on a consistent basis so I recruited others to assist. I didn't just grab just anyone off the cyber-street, mind you. Both of these fine minds were present when I was first named Tangent Boy on a late summer day almost 10 years ago.

Next, I would like to append just a couple entries to the previous posting, ShawinIsCool's first. Although it is forgivable, he did forget B is for Bell (the), as has already been discusssed previously on this blog. In case you have been biting your nails and waiting on the edge of your seat for an update to that story, fret not. It will be online quite soon. Oh, it is very exciting.

B is also for Birthday, and today is Milpool's. Bon Anniversaire!

G