Dissed by the Bell

"Fire in the Disco. Fire in the... Taco Bell."*

Well, I say burn Taco Bell, burn.

As a junk food vegetarian I love "the Bell." I make far too frequent runs to the border for it to be gastronomically safe. At one time I half-joked that it would be cool to have a table of TB bean burritos at my wedding reception. This was, of course, before I actually was faced with planning the actual event. At this point I was forced to make it a full joke.

When I was 11 years old in the hospital and still on a liquid diet after having semi-major kidney surgery (no worries, I still have it), the doctor asked me what my favorite meal was. I told him Taco Bell tacos (not a vegetarian till 25) and Dr. Pepper. He then informed me that he would get me that meal as soon as I produced a solid "movement" (can you believe it took me 5 posts to make my first mention of poo?). Needless to say, I worked very hard and was eating the tacos the next day.

A very fond memory from my college days involved the planning and executing of a day off from classes so I could stuff myself with tacos and burritos and then go see the very first showing of the first Batman movie on opening day by myself.

When my brother and I briefly shared an apartment post-college (I doubt he will ever be post-college), I learned he really loved me when I was extremely hung-over and he offered to go out to get Taco Bell for breakfast (1:30pm).

All this is just to say, the Bell and I go way back, and we go way-deep. That is why when they wrong me, it hurts just as deeply.

Today I was down. Not in a happy place. It's hard to say why. I'm just glum. I needed a pick-me-up. I needed gooey beans and cheese. I needed a Nachos Supreme (mmmmmm cheese sauce...). So, I left the office and drove the 12 minutes to the closest TB, walked in, and placed my order. As always, I specified that I wanted "no meat" on my Nachos Supreme. She even repeated it back to me, so, I figured that was enough and I didn't need to double-check before heading back to work with my food. Stupid me.

Sure enough, back at my desk, I open the nachos and they are covered in meat and there are no beans to be found. I promptly got online and complained on the corporate web site. Thankfully I had also ordered a burrito, otherwise I would be ticked off and still hungry. Mmmmmmm tasty burrito...

Oh Taco Bell, I can't stay mad at you. You better treat me right tomorrow.

G

* Quoted from "Danger! High Voltage" by Electric Six, the greatest novelty-metal-disco band you will ever hear. They happen to be appearing live in Denver at the Larimer Lounge on April 10th. See you there!